and hopefully this sums it up . . .

double click to read!

I found this column during my daily blog browsing on Apron Girls. I also have AG listed in my fave's and so I am really quite fond of this site. Today AG posted a column that caught my attention. As I was reading it, from the standpoint of a woman without human children (doggies do count!), I found myself realizing that it might also be necessary for this childless woman to also make a statement. Here is what I wrote on the AG blog:

I am one of those women without children. I am also a human, a friend, a partner, a good citizen and I have always treated children as though they are the brightest part of any day. Time is ticking and now, at age 38, I probably will not give birth but, I will always encourage and love any and all children I am privileged enough to know and especially those I don't know personally. Children need to feel important and loved.

My point, and this is something I have been struggling with for quite awhile and especially the past few days. Dear friends, please stop suggesting that I have missed my opportunity to be a better person by not technically parenting children. When I am continually asked the question: "When are you guys having children" it is so very old and so completely intrusive. Instead of saying "you would be such a good parent" say something like "you are so amazing, thank you for loving my children." Many of us exist and I would suggest that those of us like me would never suggest that a parent has too much time on their hands. We, I, am so aware of the life changing--for everyone--time it takes to have children. With this in mind, please understand that not everyone will give birth to children and we are still living and loving the world we live in.

As I finished writing on the blog I realized that quite possibly I was not being true to myself by posting surreptitiously. Please know that I am not disgruntled or somehow resentful. I have made a lot of choices in my life, most of which I am happy about. I am fortunate enough to have a partner that I love and thoroughly enjoy being with. I have amazing friends--always have. So for now, I remain a happy woman in love with Ross with a happy family of doggies! I hope you will do the same--love your family, whatever it looks like--and please, for the sake of all humanity, stop assuming that I cannot possibly be as happy as you!